OCTOBER 30th, 2010

GET PLASTERED AT NOON / AND SPEND THE DAY NERDING IT UP
[ C4, the annual Central Canada Comic Con, runs today from 10:00AM to 8:00PM and tomorrow from 11:00AM to 6:00PM at the Winnipeg Convention Centre. ]

OCTOBER 29th, 2010

I'M THE ROBERT SMITH / I'M THE CURE GUY
[ Citation; an Actual Quote. Watch that video in its entirety, it is amazing and tremendous. ]

OCTOBER 28th, 2010

WINNIPEG POLITICS IN THREE WORDS: / ZERO INCUMBENTS DEFEATED
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

OCTOBER 27th, 2010 -- Special Election Edition

[ Today is the Winnipeg Civic Election, so please welcome your Mayoral candidates one last time before you cast your all-important ballot: ]


REMEMBER MY 2006 PROMISES? / NEITHER DO I

WE CAN FIX OUR TRANSIT SYSTEM / WITH ECONOMIC PROTECTIONISM

PROMISE TO ESTABLISH A GAY VILLAGE / WATCH MEDIA IGNORE ALL YOUR OTHER IDEAS

SWITCH TO SOLAR STREET LIGHTS / THERE, BUDGET BALANCED

UNION SUPPORT IS ALWAYS NEFARIOUS / EXCEPT FOR MINE

ANNOUNCE TAX INCREASE / EXPECT POPULAR SUPPORT

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ELECTED / TO GET THROWN OUT OF YOUR OFFICE

NOT INVITED / TO DEBATES

OPPONENT WILL RIP THROUGH MONEY / LIKE SOCCER CLEATS THROUGH A KID'S FACE

DENOUNCE OPPONENT'S ROBOCALLS / THEN IMMEDIATELY BEGIN ROBOCALLING

HIT ON MARLO (LIKE A BOSS) / GET REJECTED (LIKE A BOSS)

IF YOU CAN'T JOIN SOCIETY / PLEASE LEAVE

SECRET / DOCUMENTS

NOBODY TOUGHER ON CRIME / AND BY "CRIME", I MEAN "FLAVOURED CIGARILLOS"

HAIR / THE CANADIAN POLITICAL LOVE-ROCK MUSICAL

I KNOW IT'S SPELLED LIKE "GROSS" / BUT IT'S ACTUALLY PRONOUNCED "POLLOCK"

ANYTHING YOU DON'T LIKE / WAS THE PROVINCE'S FAULT

[JWL rambling forever, an Actual Quote no less.]

LITTLE DO THEY REALIZE / I HAVE ALL THE MOMENTUM GOING IN

THE BEST WAY TO SELECT A MAYOR IS / BY WHO LOOKS MOST LIKE PAUL KARIYA

IN MY SIX YEARS, I'VE ACCOMPLISHED... / ...UH...

ROOT / CAUSES

MY POWER LEVEL IS INCREDIBLE / KAMEHAMEHA

TWO PER CENT OF THE VOTE / WILL BE CONSIDERED A SUCCESS
[ In conclusion: ]
OCTOBER 27TH, MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD!!

...WHO AM I KIDDING, HALF OF YOU DON'T VOTE

OCTOBER 26th, 2010

THIS WORLD IS MESSED UP / THIS CITY IS STUPID
[ Citation; an Actual Quote. ]

OCTOBER 25th, 2010

BUILD A MAJOR LANDMARK BRIDGE / IT LASTS SEVEN YEARS
[ Citation. ]

OCTOBER 25th, PART II -- Fourteen Electoral Submissions

[ Mere days away from the Civic Election, enjoy a very special double-sized selection of Reader Submissions: ]


VOTE FOR SAM / HE MIGHT NOT KICK YOU IN THE FACE

VOTE FOR JUDY / AT LEAST SHE'S HONEST ABOUT RAISING TAXES

VOTE FOR RAV GILL'S HAIR / I GUESS RAV GILL CAN COME ALONG TOO IF HE LIKES

VOTE FOR GROSS / ...I DON'T KNOW WHY

PROTEST THE VOTE / SPOIL YOUR BALLOT

VOTE / SPECIFICALLY TO PISS OFF CYCLISTS

YOU DON'T VOTE FOR JUDY / YOU VOTE FOR "NOT SAM"

VOTE EARLY / GO BACK TO FEELING SCARED

SURFACE PARKING IS SO IMPORTANT / WE WILL VOTE BASED ENTIRELY ON THAT

WINNIPEG CAT / FOR MAYOR

RECOGNIZE NONE SCHOOL TRUSTEE CANDIDATES / VOTE FUNNIEST NAMES

SAM: LOSE PENSION / JUDY: LOSE HOUSE

BEER SNAKE / STILL MY CHOICE FOR MAYOR

SAVE US / STEVE JUBA
[ Reader Submissions come courtesy of the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator, when it works, and admittedly sometimes it doesn't. Just like democracy! ]

OCTOBER 24th, 2010

ACTUAL, LEGITIMATE POLICE WARNING:

ANSWERING YOUR FRONT DOOR WILL GET YOU KILLED
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]