DECEMBER 31st, 2009

DRINK FIRST / ASK WHAT WAS IN THE DRINK SECOND

DECEMBER 30th, 2009

SOMEONE CHOOSE / WHO'S LEFT AND WHO'S LEAVING

DECEMBER 29th, 2009

BUY A HOTEL / CAN'T SELL BEER OTHERWISE

DECEMBER 28th, PART II -- Seven Seasonal Reader Submissions

[ Festive fun from the Meme Generator: ]
PANIC AT MALL ON CHRISTMAS EVE / DEMAND GIFT CARDS

SET UP ATM SCAM / STEAL CHRISTMAS FROM SINGLE MOMS

LAST MINUTE CHRISTMAS GIFT?

WHY, GIANT TIGER AND LIQUOR MART, OF COURSE!

GO TO POLOPARK POLO PARK ON BOXING DAY / BE SURPRISED WHEN IT'S BUSY

DON'T BOTHER TAKING DOWN YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

GO TO BOXING DAY SALE / DEMAND CHEAPER MERCHANDISE

STILL DRINKING / STILL DRIVING
[ Every Monday brings a new set, occasionally themed, of seven favourites from the submissions pool. Maybe even yours! ]
YOU'LL JUST NEED THEM AGAIN NEXT YEAR

DECEMBER 28th, 2009

GET IN THE SHED / IT'S OKAY I'M A FIREFIGHTER

DECEMBER 27th, 2009

NEED HILL FOR TOBOGGANING / BUILD ONE OUT OF GARBAGE

DECEMBER 26th, 2009

FIVE HOURS IN LINE / TEN BUCKS OFF A BLENDER

DECEMBER 25th, 2009

MERRY CHRISTMAS / NO NOT UKRAINIAN CHRISTMAS REAL CHRISTMAS

DECEMBER 24th, 2009

VODKA / AND PIC-A-POP

DECEMBER 23rd, 2009

SAVE UP PENNIES / BUY CANWEST STOCK

DECEMBER 22nd, 2009

SHOP FOR GIFTS AT TOAD HALL / BUY EVERYTHING FOR YOURSELF INSTEAD

DECEMBER 21st, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ From the Meme Generator: ]


TOO FAT / TO KNOW YOU'RE PREGNANT

GO TO COUNCIL MEETING / SPILL SOME FORM OF PETROLEUM

WHY ARE WE HERE / THERE'S NOTHING TO DO

WE HAVE TWO ALBINO BISON / BEAT THAT

WE CAN'T STOP HERE / THIS IS NORTH MAIN COUNTRY

ATLEAST AT LEAST WE'VE GOT / A USED OIL REFINERY

HOME OF / TOILET BABY
[ Seven favourites from the submissions pool, every Monday.
Watch for yours! They're submitted anonymously, but brag about them regardless. ]

DECEMBER 21st, 2009

CHRISTMAS ON FRIDAY / TIME TO START SHOPPING

DECEMBER 20th, 2009

CLAP ABOVE YOUR HEAD / LIKE YOU'RE ON KIDSTREET

DECEMBER 19th, 2009

GET SHITFACED AT SOCIAL / DO BOOT SCOOTIN' BOOGIE

DECEMBER 18th, 2009

CAN'T SPELL "WINNIPEG BLUE BOMBERS COACH"

WITHOUT "CREEP ABUSING WOMEN"

DECEMBER 17th, 2009

DISTRACT POLICE ARRIVING ARREST YOU DELIVERING BABY DIDN'T REALIZE WERE

PREGNANT WITH THEN LEAVING DROWN TOILET BENEATH / CHRISTMAS IN WINNIPEG

DECEMBER 16th. 2009

STAY ALERT / STAY SAFE

DECEMBER 15th, 2009

THOUSAND DOLLAR RIMS / FIFTY DOLLAR WINTER TIRES

DECEMBER 14th, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ From the Meme Generator: ]


BUS DEPOT / BUT NO BUS

BECOME E.R. NURSE / GET PUNCHED

I KNOW EVERYONE / WITHIN THREE DEGREES OF SEPARATION

SHOOT PUPPY WITH PAINTBALLS / FEEL LIKE BIG MAN

ANSWER THE PHONE / WIN A CRUISE

ONE GREAT CITY / NOT IN THE TOP TEN, BUT STILL OKAY

BTO REUNION TOUR / JESUS CHRIST
[ Seven favourites from the submissions pool will be posted every Monday. Watch for yours! ]

DECEMBER 14th, 2009

LIST CITY PROPERTY FOR SALE

NINE MONTHS BEFORE CITY VOTES TO SELL IT

DECEMBER 13th, 2009

CAN'T DRIVE STANDARD / CARJACKING FOILED

DECEMBER 12th, 2009

HANG AROUND MUSIC TRADER / PELT HIPSTERS WITH SNOWBALLS

DECEMBER 11th, 2009

DRIVE PAST UKRAINIAN CHURCH / SING TETRIS MUSIC

DECEMBER 10th, PART II -- By Reader Request

Yo, Winnipeg Cat--I love you, I'm'a letchu finish--
[ For 'H': ]
but The Beave is one of the greatest Manitoban mascots of all time.

OF ALL TIME. (Oh, Kanye.)

DECEMBER 10th, 2009

COME SEE OUR / CONCRETE BEARS

DECEMBER 9th, 2009

[ Crossposted here. ]

NOVEMBER 25th, 2009

[ Originally posted here. ]