MARCH 26th, 2011

FIVE STABBINGS WITHIN SEVEN HOURS

BUT NEVER MIND THAT, IT'S ICE CREAM TIME!
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. And 7. ]

MARCH 25th, 2011

COME FOR THE BLUES CONCERTS / STAY FOR THE CARBON MONOXIDE
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

MARCH 24th, 2011

VOTE TO DOUBLE PARKING FEES FIRST

ASK PUBLIC FOR INPUT SECOND
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

MARCH 23rd, 2011

OUR TRAFFIC LIGHTS ARE SUPER OLD

AND SOMETIMES JUST STOP WORKING
[ Citation. ]

MARCH 22nd, 2011

SOMEONE AT THE CJOB WEBSITE

NEEDS TO LAY OFF THE EXCLAMATION POINTS
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

MARCH 21st, 2011

YOU KNOW THAT SPRING IS COMING

WHEN YOU'RE TOLD THE ICE CAN KILL YOU
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

MARCH 21st, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

FOR MORE EVERY TIME SHE WALKS BACK DOWN THE STREET
[ Reader Submissions appear to have returned to full operational capacity: ]
...IT'S EASIER THAN FINDING THE NORTH END GUNMAN

START LIKING THINGS / ONLY WHEN THEY'RE ABOUT TO CLOSE DOWN

HOMELESS LADY ASKS FOR CHANGE AND YOU GIVE HER SOME / ASKS YOU

POLICE EXPRESS CONCERN ABOUT RANDOM ATTACKS AND STABBINGS

THEY'RE STILL MAKING / BEETHOVEN MOVIES?!

GO DOWNTOWN / GET STABBED

REFUSE TO GO DOWNTOWN BECAUSE IT'S TOO DANGEROUS / BUT

WINNIPEG / THE CITY THAT RACES CARS, HORSES, AND PIGEONS....APPARENTLY
[ Reader Submissions are featured here, every Monday, as submitted through the once-again-operational Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]
STILL GO TO MEXICO FOR WINTER VACATION

MARCH 20th, 2011

THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLDS WILL SHANK YOU

AND LEAVE YOU TO DIE ON THE STREET
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]