AUGUST 21st, 2010

NO LIQUOR AT EARLS ON MAIN TODAY / PREPARE YOUR MOST ELABORATE TANTRUM
[ Citations: 1, 2 ]

AUGUST 20th, 2010

STEAL A HOUSE PARTY'S AIR CONDITIONER / GET STABBED
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

AUGUST 19th, 2010

EAT PAVILION FOOD AT FOLKLORAMA / ENJOY YOUR OLD-WORLD E. COLI
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ]

AUGUST 18th, 2010

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS

BUT A GUY GOT STABBED AT THE WOODBINE
[ Citation. ]

AUGUST 17th, 2010

DRIVIN' AROUND FIRING SHOTGUNS AT HOUSES

YES, SIR, TEENAGE YEARS WELL SPENT
[ Citations: 1, 2 ]

AUGUST 16th, 2010

THE DAMAGE WAS CAUSED WHEN HE WAS BLEEDING

AND RAMPAGING AROUND INSIDE THE HOUSE
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

AUGUST 16th, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ Featuring an auto-update script that... didn't, please enjoy this crop of Reader Submissions: ]


OUR CAB DRIVERS / SHOULD GET DANGER PAY

ATTEMPT BACK DOOR OF CITY TRANSIT BUS / MISS STOP

WINKLER, MB / GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR MOST COMBINES ON A WHEAT FIELD

41 CELSIUS / JESUS CHRIST

MAN ASSAULTED IN FORT ROUGE / BY AS MANY AS FOUR YOUNG THUGS

NOT HAPPY WITH YOUR BROTHER? / STAB HIM

DELIGHTFULLY SARCASTIC / FRIGHTFULLY SERIOUS
[ Reader Submissions will gladly pay you Tuesday for a Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator today. ]

AUGUST 15th, 2010

TRAFFIC TICKETS FIRST / TRAFFIC CONTROL SECOND
[ Citations: 1, 2 ]