[ If nothing else, Reader Submissions are still more respectable than Keys to the City: ] EMBARRASSING CIVIC INCIDENT / FOR ONCE IT WASN'T US DIRTBIKE EQUALS / MOTORCYCLE LET'S BE HONEST / YOU LOVE IT HERE LET'S NAME THE JETS!!! / ...OH WAIT. SAM KATZ / IS MAYOR QUIMBY GENE SIMMONS GETS KEY TO THE CITY NUMBER OF THINGS NAMED AFTER GEDDY LEE: STILL ZERO WINNIPEG / NICE PLACE TO BE FROM [ Reader Submissions are given a bizarrely lavish ceremony every Monday from the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]