OCTOBER 16th, 2010

THEY ALSO HAVE / CRACKER BARREL
[ Citation. Also available as a special edition Bartley Kives t-shirt. And yes, you read that sentence correctly, that is a real thing. ]

OCTOBER 15th, 2010

CAN'T AFFORD A GUN OR KNIFE / ROB STORES WITH A METAL PIPE
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

OCTOBER 14th, 2010

WEAR RED DOWNTOWN / GET ROBBED
[ Citation. ]

OCTOBER 13th, 2010

I'M IN YOUR TAXES / TAKIN' YOUR HOUSE
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3 ]

OCTOBER 12th, 2010

THE ALEX BRINK ERA IS PROBABLY OVER

AND A BLOWN 21-POINT LEAD IS FUNNY AS SHIT
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

OCTOBER 11th, 2010

HIT A PARKED COP CAR AND PUSH IT NINETY FEET

YOUR DRUNK DRIVING IS NOT EXACTLY SUBTLE
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3 ]

OCTOBER 11th, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ Listen up, turkeys, it's Reader Submissions time: ]
WAS OUR LAST CIVIC SPORTS TRIUMPH

TRAFFIC CIRCLES / ARE SCARY AND CONFUSING

BRANDON, MB / I SPENT A WEEK THERE ONE AFTERNOON

RIDE BIKE ON ROAD, HIT RED LIGHT / IMMEDIATELY RIDE ON SIDEWALK

EAT AT RESTAURANT IN FARGO / DONT [sic] TIP

LOLZ / 16 COPS = 74% DECREASE IN STOLEN CARZ

WINNING A BUSH LEAGUE BASEBALL LEAGUE TITLE 16 YEARS AGO

GIVE CHANGE TO HOBO / GET STABBED
[ Every Monday we are thankful for Reader Submissions, which are mixed with bread crumbs and forcefully stuffed through the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]

OCTOBER 10th, 2010

REPEATEDLY VIOLATE IN-CAR CELLPHONE BAN / THAT'LL SHOW 'EM
[ Citation. See also: 1, 2, 3 ]