AUGUST 28th, 2010

BEATEN BY SEVEN PEOPLE AND STABBED TO DEATH / FOR TEN DOLLARS

EIGHTH HOMICIDE IN SEVEN WEEKS / SIXTH IN THE PAST MONTH

ALL WE WANT IS / YOUR TEN BUCKS
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

AUGUST 27th, 2010

FIRST WE TAKE CLASSES AT RED RIVER COLLEGE / THEN WE TAKE... THE WORLD!!
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

AUGUST 26th, 2010

LIGHT YOURSELF A CIGARETTE / AND WATCH THE DOWNTOWN BURN
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

AUGUST 25th, 2010

KICK AN IMMIGRANT BOY RIGHT IN THE FACE

AS PART OF YOUR RE-ELECTION CAMPAIGN
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, and perhaps inevitably 4 ]

AUGUST 24th, 2010

A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD IS OUTSIDE AT 4:00 AM / STAB HIM
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

AUGUST 23rd, 2010

DRIVE AN HOUR AND A HALF OUT OF TOWN / JUST TO STALK JAY ONRAIT
[ Pinawa, Manitoba hosts the TSN SportsCentre Kraft Celebration Tour today from 3:00 to 6:00 PM at the Pinawa Heritage Sundial. Also, apropos of nothing, this. ]

AUGUST 23rd, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ Onward now with the weekly dose of Reader Submissions: ]


START A CAMPFIRE / IN A HOUSE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

SPOILER ALERT / THE STADIUM IS GONNA SUCK

CAUGHT BEHIND TRAIN / NEVER MAKING IT HOME

ASK FOR DIRECTIONS / GET STABBED

INJURE AND ELIMINATE THE ALOUETTES' FRANCHISE QUARTERBACK / LOSE ANYWAY

TAKE TRANSIT AT NIGHT / HOLD PURSE TIGHTLY

SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING / SUNBURN
[ The Reader Submissions are helpfully stockpiled at the handy-dandy Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]

AUGUST 22nd, 2010

EVERYONE WILL KNOW OUR GANG IS TOUGH

WHEN THEY SEE JESUS IN OUR MUSIC VIDEO
[ Citations: 1, 2, and (sigh) 3 ]