Friday

DECEMBER 31st, 2010


COLD TEMPERATURES IMPROVE FIREWORKS? / GUESS THESE'LL BE THE BEST FIREWORKS EVER
[ Citation; also, helpful hints. ]

Thursday

DECEMBER 30th, 2010


WHY WAIT ON YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS? / YOU CAN START ROBBING PHARMACIES TODAY
[ Citations: 1 (PDF), 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Note this point from the coverage, an Actual Quote: ]

Wednesday

DECEMBER 29th, 2010


OKAY, ACT SURPRISED WHEN I TELL YOU THIS / OUR POLICE LOST A TASER CARTRIDGE
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4. ]

Tuesday

DECEMBER 28th, 2010


SURELY WE SHALL DOMINATE THE RATINGS / ONCE WE PROMISE THE PUBLIC ROD STEWART
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, and... really, guys? Really? ]

Monday

DECEMBER 27th, 2010


ANSWER DOOR / GET STABBED
[ Citations: 1, 2 ]

DECEMBER 27th, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ The final Reader Submissions segment of 2010, strange as that may seem: ]


GET CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS? / LIST IT ON KIJIJI WITHIN MINUTES

UP TO MINUS TEN / MUST BE SNOWSTORMS COMING

STARLIGHT TOUR / WAS A LIE

SET UP SHOP ON SELKIRK AVENUE / GET STABBED!

WINNIPEG / HANDOUTS ARE HOW SHIT GETS DONE AROUND HERE .. WHO WANTS A MILLION

BOXING DAY SALES / LINE UP IN COLD FOR DEALS THAT WERE ON INTERNET 2 DAYS AGO

GO TO CHRISTMAS PARTY / GET STABBED
[ Reader Submissions from the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator will continue to feature well into the next year and beyond. Don't drink too much on New Year's! (Ah, who are we kidding.) ]

Sunday

DECEMBER 26th, 2010


CHRISTMAS WE CAN TAKE OR LEAVE / BUT BOXING DAY IS SACRED HERE
[ Citations: 1, 2 ]

Saturday

DECEMBER 25th, 2010


PEACE ON EARTH AND GOODWILL TO MEN / EXCEPT FOR REGINA. REGINA CAN SUCK IT

Friday

DECEMBER 24th, 2010


OUR PUBLIC SAFETY BUILDING / CAUGHT FIRE
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

Thursday

DECEMBER 23rd, 2010


WE STAB MORE PEOPLE BEFORE 9:00 A.M. / THAN MOST CITIES STAB ALL DAY
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

Wednesday

DECEMBER 22nd, 2010


MICE GET INTO YOUR CAR? / WRITEOFF
[ Citation. ]

Tuesday

DECEMBER 21st, 2010


THE FIRST FIRE IN THAT HOUSE WAS ARSON / BUT THAT SECOND FIRE, MAN, WE HAVE NO IDEA
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

Monday

DECEMBER 20th, 2010


SOMEONE ALREADY STOLE ALL THE OPIATES / SWITCH TO ROBBING FAST-FOOD JOINTS
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

DECEMBER 20th, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ Settle your brains for a long winter's Reader Submissions: ]


WE HEAT OUR HOUSES / WITH OUR OWN ANGER

COUNCIL THINKS STADIUM IS A GREAT DEAL / I'VE GOT A '77 FORD PINTO FOR THEM

OUR HOCKEY TEAMS HAVE HAD CHEERLEADERS FOR 25 YEARS / THEY'RE CALLED "DANCING GABE"

MANITOBA / WELFARE KEEPS US AFLOAT

STADIUM! STADIUM! / OUR DIGNITY (AND TAX DOLLARS) FOR A STADIUM!

GO TO CHRISTMAS DINNER / LISTEN TO UNCLE COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING THAT THE PAWLEY GOVERNMENT DID

MY NAME IS / MAUD
[ With Reader Submissions so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]

Sunday

DECEMBER 19th, 2010


IMPRESS YOUR GUESTS AT YOUR NEXT FUNCTION / PUT OUT YOUR FINEST GLASSES FROM DOMO
[ Citation. ]

Saturday

DECEMBER 18th, 2010


LYING PUBLICLY ABOUT POLICE MISCONDUCT / IS PROBABLY NOT ONE'S WISEST CAREER MOVE
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

Friday

DECEMBER 17th, 2010


SPENDING LESS AND FIGHTING BILINGUALISM / C'MON, ADMIT IT, THAT'S A PRETTY GREAT LEGACY
[ Rest in Peace, former Premier Sterling Lyon. ]

Thursday

DECEMBER 16th, 2010


BLUE BOMBERS NOTED AS "BIGGEST SHOW IN TOWN" / THE MOST DEMORALIZING INDICTMENT IMAGINABLE
[ Citations: 1, 2; related are 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7, plus 8 and 9, cumulatively proving 10. ]

Wednesday

DECEMBER 15th, 2010


YOU SAY "PO-TAY-TO" AND I SAY "PO-TAH-TO" / YOU SAY "CANTALOUPE" AND I SAY "DEATHTRAP"
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

Tuesday

DECEMBER 14th, 2010


MANITOBA HOMECOMING 2010 / ENDS AS IT BEGAN: JUST MAKING SHIT UP
[ Citation. ]

Monday

DECEMBER 13th, 2010


THE LOCAL HOODLUMS HAVE ADVANCED / TO CARTOON SUPERVILLAINRY
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4. For an interesting media studies extracurricular, consider how each outlet handles the photo credits. ]

DECEMBER 13th, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ Good tidings we bring to you and your Reader Submissions: ]


SANTA'S NOT AT CITY PLACE / HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET MUGGED

GIVE MONEY TO THE HUMAN RIGHTS MUSEUM / BE REASSURED THAT YOU ARE NOT RACIST

BULLET HOLES IN MY WINDOW? / LET ME PUT SOME TINFOIL IN THAT.

CLOVERLEAFS / NOT THE PLACE TO STOP

BUS FARE: $2.35 / PINEAPPLE: $1.99

TURN 16, PICK-UP [sic] A DRUNKEN COUGAR STUMBLING OUT OF 'THE PAL / A WINNIPEG RIGHT [sic] OF PASSAGE

THE NORTH END IS SINKIN' / AND I DON'T WANT TO SWIM
[ Reader Submissions convey all the sentiment of the season from the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]

Sunday

DECEMBER 12th, 2010


NEIL YOUNG IN A MANITOBA MOOSE HAT / IS AS NONSENSICAL AND AS FUNNY AS IT SOUNDS
[ Citation. He was attending a hockey game in San Jose, in an example of more context making less sense. ]

Saturday

DECEMBER 11th, 2010


YOUR DRINKING AND DRIVING IS A PROBLEM / MY DRINKING AND DRIVING IS A TALENT
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

Friday

DECEMBER 10th, 2010



[ Not counting the crossposts of the concept's original batches, today marks the first anniversary of the site's daily content. Happy Birthday, Winnipeg Cat! ]
CELEBRATING ONE FULL YEAR OF DAILY UPDATES / (AND AN AVERAGE OF FIVE LAUGHS PER YEAR || BY READING THE WHOLE ARCHIVE PISS DRUNK || AND ROUGHLY 364 DAYS SINCE THE GAG GOT OLD || THE WINNIPEG WAY: BY RESENTING SUCCESS || IS THE CAT TALKING? IS THAT THE JOKE? || AND HERE'S TO ANOTHER YEA--HEY, COME BACK)

Thursday

DECEMBER 9th, 2010


LOCAL WORKER STRIKE THREATENS BEER SUPP-- / OH, FOR MOOSEHEAD? PFFT, NEVER MIND, THEN
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

Wednesday

DECEMBER 8th, 2010


POLICE MAY OR MAY NOT TASTE LIKE CHICKEN / GUESS THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3 ]

Tuesday

DECEMBER 7th, 2010

MASS PUBLIC SNARK ABOUT THE HELICOPTER

AWAITS ALL NEW CRIME STORIES HENCE
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ]

Monday

DECEMBER 6th, 2010


HAMMERED IN A WALMART AT 5:00 A.M. / TRYING TO HAGGLE THE PRICE ON SNOW SPRAY
[ Citation. ]

DECEMBER 6th, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ Not known for its festive spirit, this is a little segment we like to call "Reader Submissions": ]


NOT HANDING OUT ENOUGH TICKETS / DRESS LIKE BUMS

IT'S NOT COLD / UNLESS I GET FROSTBITE

PAY $600 FOR U OF M PARKING SPOT / WALK 20 MINUTES ANYWAY

FULL STOPS / ARE FOR SUCKERS

GOTTA TAKE A DRIVE TO PICK UP WEED? / TAKE SHOTS OF 45% CROWN ROYAL!

BOXING DAY STORE HOURS / WILL TEAR US APART

2010 / WTF WHERE DID IT GO
[ Reader Submissions feature here each Monday, delivered as always through the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]