SEPTEMBER 4th, 2010

FREE WRESTLING EVENT TODAY / GO AND SEE LEATHERFACE
[ Citation. ]

SEPTEMBER 3rd, 2010

IF YOU'RE CHASING A CAR THIEF / DON'T GET OUT OF YOUR CAR
[ Citation. ]

SEPTEMBER 2nd, 2010

SOLICITING SEX FROM YOUR LEGAL CLIENTS / BAD IDEA

POSTING YOUR WIFE'S NUDE PICTURES ONLINE WITHOUT ASKING HER / BAD IDEA

LETTING A LAWYER TIE YOU UP / BAD IDEA

NAMING YOUR SON "JACK KING" / BAD IDEA

HIRING A LAWYER WHO CAN'T EVEN REPRESENT CONSENSUAL SEX PROPERLY / BAD IDEA

REDEFINING THE PHRASE "NOT SAFE FOR WORK" / BAD IDEA

EXPLAINING THIS STORY TO YOUR MOTHER / WORST IDEA


[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18. Define "media frenzy" and give examples. ]

SEPTEMBER 1st, 2010

FRESHWATER MANITOBA JELLYFISH / WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

AUGUST 31st, 2010

ASSINIBOINE AVENUE IS NOW IMPASSABLE! / SURPRISE!!
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3 ]

AUGUST 30th, 2010

GOLF CARTS COUNT AS AUTOMOBILES NOW

ADJUST DRUNK DRIVING PLANS ACCORDINGLY
[ Citation. ]

AUGUST 30th, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ Closing in on the end of the season, here come another wave of Reader Submissions: ]


OUR MAYOR / WILL KICK YOU IN THE FACE

A COUPLE OF KIDS GOT STABBED / BLAME THEIR PARENTS

NOT MURDER CAPITAL OF CANADA? / PROVOKE STRANGERS

WOMEN'S GOLF / SO EXCITING

STEP IN HOOKER PUKE BEHIND THE ZOO / BUSINESS AS USUAL

GRAB OFFICE COPY OF THE SUN TO READ ON THE BUS / HOPE NOBODY SEES YOU

IT'S SEPTEMBER ON WEDNESDAY / SHIT
[ Every Monday brings the noise, Reader Submissions from the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]

AUGUST 29th, 2010

SOMEONE MADE FUN OF YOUR SKIN CONDITION / GET THE SWORD
[ Citation. ]