Saturday
Friday
Thursday
Wednesday
OCTOBER 5th, 2011 -- Special Election Postscript
[ Final thoughts from our special guests: ]
I SAW PEOPLE / MAKING PEROGIES
OH, SCREW THIS / I QUIT
I'LL OUTLAST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU / SEE IF I DON'T
RECORD NUMBER OF THIRD-PLACE FINISHES / PROGRESS!
[ And, ultimately: ]
OVERALL CHANGE AFTER FULL-YEAR CAMPAIGN: / ONE SEAT
Tuesday
OCTOBER 4th, 2011 -- Special Election Edition
[ Today is the 40th Manitoba General Election, so please welcome your candidates for Premier one last time before you cast that all-important ballot: ]
THIS MEAN-SPIRITED, ACCUSATORY CAMPAIGN / IS DEDICATED TO JACK LAYTON'S MEMORY
HOME-RENOVATION AND FITNESS TAX CREDITS / WORKED FOR HARPER, SO I FIGURE, HELL, SURE
POLLING AT SEVEN PER CENT / IT COULD... IT COULD BE WORSE
GOT THIRTY-TWO CANDIDATES / ENOUGH TO WIN
NEVER YOU MIND ABOUT BRIAN SINCLAIR / LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY BUDDY MARK KEANE
OH, I SEE. YOU ALL LOVE THE JETS NOW. / THAT'S GREAT. YEAH. REAL FUNNY, GUYS.
ONLY THREE SEATS AWAY / FROM OFFICIAL PARTY STATUS
ONLY NEED FOUR SEATS FOR PARTY STATUS / LET'S DO THIS
THIRD PLACE IN THE PERSONAL POLLING / TWENTY-ONE POINTS BEHIND GARY DOER
OUR BUDGET IS KIND OF LIKE THEIR BUDGET / EXCEPT IT TAKES TWICE AS LONG, SO IT'S BETTER
IT'S SORT OF LIKE / THE CITY OF DETROIT
WE'RE BASICALLY TIED WITH THE LIBERALS / ANYWHERE ELSE THIS'D BE IMPRESSIVE
DON'T YOU DARE TRUST THOSE CONSERVATIVES / LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF THEY DID LAST CENTURY
BIPOLE III WILL SOUR THE PUBLIC ON THE NDP / ANY SECOND NOW
MAYBE YOU COULD CLOSE YOUR EYES / AND PRETEND I'M JUSTIN TRUDEAU
NOT INVITED / TO DEBATES
I SWEAR TO GOD / THEY'LL PRIVATIZE
EVEN I'M TIRED / OF IAN RABB'S FACE
HELD AN EVENT WITH SHEILA COPPS / IT DREW ELEVEN PEOPLE
GET HAIR DONE LIKE DOCTOR WHO / VOTERS LOVE DOCTOR WHO
ARE YOU BOYS IN SOME KIND OF CLUB? / LET'S ALL GET A PICTURE TOGETHER!
EVERY DAY / I'M SHUFF-L-IN'
JOHN HARVARD / YOU DICK
HASSELRIIS / FOR MAYOR
STEVE, DID I TYPE THIS IN WRONG? / THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE OUR WEBSITE
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "SMILE"? / I AM SMILING
THE LIBERAL PARTY CAUCUS MEETS DAILY / IN MY MIRROR
HAVE TO TIE GARY DOER TO F. SCOTT FITZGERALD / JUST TO GET SOME GOD DAMN MEDIA TIME
THEY WILL PEE / IN YOUR LAKE
THE SUN'S MOST TEPID ENDORSEMENT EVER / YEAH, THANKS
I'M A DOCTOR / NOT A MIRACLE WORKER
OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, WHO IS THIS / DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS
[ In conclusion: ]
OCTOBER 4th, MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD!!
...NO, COME ON, GO DO IT, JUST--OH, C'MONNNN
Monday
OCTOBER 3rd, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions
[ Reader Submissions are so excited about tomorrow's provincial election that they... oh, who are we kidding: ]
CONSTRUCTION EVERYWHERE / IS IT REALLY AUTUMN ALREADY?
NOT GOING TO VOTE TO SEND A MESSAGE / I REALLY DON'T CARE!
HURRAH FOR THE HOME JETS / TO HELL WITH THE AWAY JETS
MANITOBA FALL ELECTION / VOTE NO!
RIDE BIKE ON STREET FOR GREEN LIGHTS / SIDEWALK FOR RED
MICHAEL BISHOP? / SERIOUSLY?
6 PEOPLE STABBED / JUST ANOTHER DAY IN WINNIPEG
[ Reader Submissions appear every Monday via the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
