JANUARY 8th, 2011

ARGUE AT PARTY / GET STABBED
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

JANUARY 7th, 2011

"MASS ATROCITY ZONE" / MUSEUM GALLERY, OR THRASH BAND?
[ Citations: 1, 2 ]

JANUARY 6th, 2011

RIDE A BUS / FIGHT A GUY
[ Citation. ]

JANUARY 5th, 2011

DRAG COP THIRTY FEET, CRASH VEHICLE / THEY MAY SUSPECT YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

JANUARY 4th, 2011

AND NOW, YOUR TRAFFIC UPDATE: / CALAMITY
[ Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, what in the world ]

JANUARY 3rd, 2011

TWELVE-YEAR-OLD IN POLICE CUSTODY / FOR STABBING THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD
[ Citation. ]

JANUARY 3rd, PART II -- Seven Reader Submissions

[ Reader Submissions ring in the New Year: ]


GO TO NEW YEAR'S PARTY / GET STABBED

PLAY PAYED [sic] GIG IN REGINA / COME BACK $300 POORER

PRINCE WILLIAM IS ENGAGED? / WHO CARES, KATZ IS GETTING MARRIED!

HAPPY NEW YEAR / I'M DRUNK

COLD WEATHER SURPRISES US EVERY YEAR / HOMICIDES DO NOT

FIREWORKS! / BOOM! POW! WHOOOOOOO!

I'M COLD / AND I HATE EVERYTHING
[ Reader Submissions feature here, each and every Monday of the year, from the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]

JANUARY 2nd, 2011

FIRST RECORDED STABBING OF 2011 / WITHIN THE FIRST HOUR OF THE YEAR
[ Citation. ]