[ If nothing else, Reader Submissions are still more respectable than Keys to the City: ]
EMBARRASSING CIVIC INCIDENT / FOR ONCE IT WASN'T US
DIRTBIKE EQUALS / MOTORCYCLE
LET'S BE HONEST / YOU LOVE IT HERE
LET'S NAME THE JETS!!! / ...OH WAIT.
SAM KATZ / IS MAYOR QUIMBY
GENE SIMMONS GETS KEY TO THE CITY
NUMBER OF THINGS NAMED AFTER GEDDY LEE: STILL ZERO
WINNIPEG / NICE PLACE TO BE FROM
[ Reader Submissions are given a bizarrely lavish ceremony every Monday from the Winnipeg Cat Meme Generator. ]
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